I came to a realization just now…. at some point this will be the last time I have to fuss him for (insert cause here)…. Brush teeth, bathe correctly, instruct how to bathe correctly, eat your food, quit goofing off at the table and eat, this is the last meal of the day, pick up your trash….. oh I could go on. But my heart skipped a beat when I realized that this could be THE LAST TIME. It has caused me to rethink my attitude. Really it is not so much that I “FUSS”, it is more that I have to repeat myself over and over and over and over again.
He twirls my hair. Especially when he is tired, he twirls my hair and sucks on his tongue. It goes back to the days of breastfeeding him. I am his comfort. It is funny and irritating – all at the same time. But I recognize now that there will be a LAST TIME for this as well. He is growing up. Almost way to fast. When I am in so much pain and he leans in on me, even though it intensifies the pain because of WHERE he is laying his head, I give it to God and pray for healing as I accept the pain instead of asking him to move.
THIS MAY BE THE LAST TIME HE LEANS IN ON ME.
Cherishing every moment, regardless of how I want to react. I squash the screaming, crying, flinching, grimacing or moving. Squash it way down, simply because I know there will be a moment in the future, probably sooner than I would like, that the last time will be in past and I will miss it and this mama’s heart will shatter in disappointed loss for this baby who has grown up, but will be exploding with love and proud feelings of the man he has become.
Do you think that is how God feels about us? Do you think he is missing our baby steps that we take into a new unknown at the same time rejoicing about how far we have come in our journey with him? Our spiritual journey is never ending, it just changes course or goes up a new mountain. When we actually learn something and stop going around the mountain again, we grow, I think He rejoices at that moment and I think he cherishes each new baby step we take onto a new spiritual course.
Deuteronomy 6:4-7 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! 5You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.6“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.